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i'm the linda lovelace of blowing your mind

and every inch counts

13 December 1979
External Services:
One time I killed a guy with two nipple clips, a fake moustache, and a picture of Mischa Barton. Suck my balls, MacGuyver.

This journal is rated R for RADICAL. Also, raccoons.


This manip was made by me with my superb skills.
Don't take it or I'll come to your house and beat the crap out of your little brother.

Get Firefox!

Kiva - loans that change lives

I don't care if you friend me. I don't care if you defriend me. Unless, of course, we've actually become good friends in which case you suck for defriending me. I'll probably check out your journal at least once, but I don't have time for a big flist so friending everyone back has become a haunting dream of the distant past. If you really really want to get friended back, appeal to my vanity by commenting often about how great I am. Works like a charm. Furthermore, I don't give a shit how old you are. I am not responsible for protecting your virgin eyes from my incessant need to curse. No part of this journal is friends-only since my therapist and I came to terms with my exhibitionism.

Examples of what you'll find in this journal:

The Zen of Severus Snape
Voldemort Is a Dumbass & Return of the Dumbass
Hogwarts Houses: Y/N?
Draco Malfoy Can Do No Wrong
Gravity and How It's Killing Your Sex Life
Somewhere Krypton Is Missing Its Village Idiot
Your Brain on Drugs, by George Lucas (3rd Grade)
Reason #374,482 Why Tom Cruise Needs to DIAF
Saddam Hussein and the Swedish Chef: Siamese Muppets

For my stalkers: I can currently be found on Twitter.

My emergency contact information is here.

"Human salvation lies in the hands of the creatively maladjusted."

Martin Luther King Jr.


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